


Day of the Barney

by kolbdog



Series: Day of the Barney [1]
Category: Barney and Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-06
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-17 21:24:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbdog/pseuds/kolbdog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first of the Day of the Barney Trilogy. Barney decides to take over the world by killing all the adults.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day of the Barney

Mrs. Thompson kissed her two children, Jenny and Robby, and sat them before  
the television set. Their eyes widened and gleamed as the picture faded in,  
revealing the one who had become a dear and cherished friend over the last few  
months. Mrs. Thompson smiled at their captivated wonder, and went to the  
kitchen to prepare dinner. As she readied the vegetables for stir-fry, she  
peered into the living room and watched the blubbery, purple dinosaur prance  
and roll across the screen.

"Silly fat reptile," she muttered, and went back to her preparations.

If Jenny and Robby were annoyed by her remark, they made no sign of it.  
Instead, they listened and watched in rapt attention to Barney the Dinosaur,  
who was being broadcast live from the nation's capitol. The plaza was filled  
with thousands of wide-eyed youths, who wriggled and squirmed for a closer look  
at the Purple One. Off to the wings, the green dinosaur known as Baby Bop  
giggled and preened, occasionally blowing a kiss to the children in the crowd.  
Finally, following a light song and dance about sharing, Barney sauntered up to  
the podium and spoke:

"Hello, all my friends out there! I'm so happy you could make it to my  
special concert. Have I told you lately how much I love you?"

Children world-wide simultaneously burst, "I love you too, Barney!"

The Purple One giggled and for a moment appeared to blush. "Love is such  
a wonderful thing. Especially the love you and I share for each other. I also  
want you to know how much of a special friend you are to me. Are you my friend  
also?"

The response was thunderous, rising from the kids in the plaza, across the  
living rooms scattered across the nation.

"YES!!!"

"Well, that's wonderful!" reeled Barney. "But do you know what, kids? I  
have something really, really sad to tell you." He sighed, letting his  
immense, dead eyes roll to the floor. "Not everyone is Barney's friend....some  
people don't even want you to be my friend."

Protests and cries began to rise collectively within the entranced mass.  
The Beast of Purple quieted them with a raise of his hand. He continued:

"There are people who don't want me to love you, and want to take you away  
from me. These people are very bad, and want to hurt your loving friend  
Barney. Some of them may be people who are very close to you. But do you  
know what?"

The audience of children silently yet anxiously awaited the answer. An  
unholy stillness had fallen upon the crowd. Many of the adults began to feel  
isolated, targeted.....unwelcome.

"None of them, not a single one, loves you as much as I do. I'm your only real  
friend in the world. I really love you, I do! But these bad people don't.  
Some of them may be your neighbors. Some of them may be your teachers. And  
some of them....."

"Who, Barney, who?!?" shrieked a young girl from a barricade.

"...some of them may be _your_ parents!"

Immediately the children began yelling and crying, their teeth and fists  
clenched in rage. Security guards who had been trying to keep the children  
back behind the lines began to fidget uneasily, as the sea of wide-eyed,  
growling, gurgling children began rising against them. Some guards broke from  
the line and ran down the street, screaming hysterically. Others tried to push  
the youngsters back but were pulled in by grasping, clawing hands.

The cries were horrible.

One guard, as he was being simultaneously crushed and pulled apart by the  
mindless horde, looked back upon the stage. The Purple One and his green  
sidekick were laughing and dancing demonically about the platform, which was  
now spattered with blood and torn clothing. Next moment the world went dark  
and the guard was lost forever amidst the torrent of violence and unholy  
chanting...

I love you, you love me.....let me have your family.....with  
a quick stab or kick, we'll set the children free....don't you  
know you were meant for me.....

Mrs. Thompson finished washing the vegetables and figured either Jenny or  
Robby could take out the trash. She walked out into the living room only to  
notice the children were gone and the TV station was giving a dull, whining  
tone and a test pattern.

"Jenny? Robby? Are you here anywhere?"

Perhaps they've gone outside, she thought. She returned to the kitchen  
and looked upon the counter. Her tinsel-steel paring and slicing knives were  
gone. But they were there just a moment ago, she thought. Then, just as a  
flash of steel slashed across her legs and another just above her waist, she  
heard a muffled giggle and caught a glimpse of purple and green out the corner  
of her eye. She collapsed into a pile of her own entrails and blood, her life  
seeping into the tile. As the world faded to a lifeless grey, she heard a  
familiar tune sung by two familiar voices...

"I love you, you love me, let us join with Lord Barney...with  
a great big kiss and hug, from me to you....let's purge the  
world of adults too...."

Mrs. Thompson stopped breathing.

"He's NOT a silly fat reptile!


End file.
